“I wish I had a new blackberry like the women in front of me paying for her stuff with a foodstamp card!”
YOU TOO CAN HAVE THIS IF YOU JUST GET ON FOODSTAMPS!
I recently saw a gentlemen post this to a social networking site.
I mean, some nerve. How can ppl be so cruel and ignorant? I feel compelled to come up with a a few scenerios to proove WHY this “girl” had a blackberry AND an EBT (foodstamp) card at (GASP) the same time!!!!!!!!! Why heavens! She MUST be abusing the system! (lmao)
And besides coming up with LOGICAL reasons, I posted some other FUN ways to really annoy the cashier and other shoppers around you next time your making purchases with that EBT card.or shall I say,
1. She might of been a very hardworking women, who was shopping for her elderly grandmother at the market with her granmothers card, as all you need is the perosns pin number and you can purcashe alloted items. Hense, She has a cell phone AND a food card at the same time! wow, magic!
2. she has worked the last 15 years of her life, purchased the phone dring that time. has been laid off for 2 months, still has her phone and just recently got on foodstamp benefits so she dont like, uhh starve until she gets back on her feet. Maybe the phone was a gift? bday gift from her weathly family? just cuz you get ebt dont mean you need to have the cheapest tracphone out there.
3. maybe her best friend owns us. celluar? maybe her best friend gave her a phone just becasue shes totally awesome? Yeah, This is probably the reason
4. maybe she DOES work! Ever think of that? Maybe shes a college student and needs an ebt card until she gets thru college and starts working? Maybe becasue shes in college her family help her out with a few bills? Is there something wrong with this? just becasue you work dont mean you cant get beneits! the state decides how much you shoud have monthly based on what you make. have you ever been to dds? its not a fun place if you didnt HAVE to be there. I dont think you would go and go thru all that hassel and social stignma just for some free milk and eggs a few times a month. its not like you can buy anything good on it like hot food, cigs and tolettires! lol
5. So, maybe with her 3 part time jobs, shes saved enough money to buy a cell phone, after paying her bills every month. I can tell you its never enough. they can give you a grand a month for a family of five and it barely cuts it. have you ever seen the food prices? Not cheap. you usually always end up paying alot more money to the market after your ebts are gone for that month. and, if shes a grown owmen, whom is honest and hard working, damn it she deserves that cell phone, and i think we established above, her best friend gave it to her.
6, another sceneio. maybe it IS HER card but not her phone? maybe its her sisters phone, and her sister it letting her borrow it becasue her car isnt running well ( becasue well, all us poor folk drive beaters right?) and she wanted her poor sister, (no pun intended) who has no phone to have it in case of emergency while out shopping for her elderly grandmother. lol.
7.maybe she found it in the parking lot and was taking it back into the store to see if any of them rich folk lost it.
8.maybe she won it???Maybe she won it in an EBT drawing of some sort?
9. Maybe shes sold her foodstapts to pay for it? oh wait, thats only what a judmental person would assume. Scratch that
10 Maybe her rich grandfather just has a sudden heartattack and died, and gave all his grandchildren all his belongings which included an awesome new cell phone?
11. Maybe her hot, rich boyfriend bought it for her? Becasue if shes not married, then he dont go on her EBT Application Form. It only would mater what she made. its not against the laws to have a rich boyfriend and an ebt card. now, if shes married, thats a different story. But, shes not. and like I said before, shes probably shopping for her grandmother.
well folks, i dont kno how she has a cell phone and an ebt card but I can tell you one thing you shouldnt pass judgement on someone you dont even know! there are many possibilities that could enure why she had that fancy phone that you wish you had. maybe she works harder then you and can afford it. maybe you should get a better job? maybe you should get a better boyfriend, and he would buy you one. OR maybe you should just be as awesome as her and have friends that work at us celluar that want to give you the most popular phones to annoy ppl behid you at the market?
foodstamps is nothing to be ashamed of. you cant let ppl make you feel bad, as there is nothing to feel bad for. only you know your situation and why you have the ebt benefits, Not the person behind you making ridiculous commets, not the cashier giving you dirty looks, and not the manager who is annoucing ‘ no you cant buy hot chicken on that thing!” lol
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Next time you go shopping with your Ebt card make sure you do the following to ensure a much more fun trip!Have fun!………
- Dress up. Put on those skinny jeans, red pumps and red lipstick Tease your hair some and make sure your diamonds are shining. Spray your new 60 dollar perfume on RIGHT before you enter the market. Who says you have to look like a bum just because you’re receiving government assistance? Dress classy, dress trashy…dress however you want, as long as it looks like it didn’t come from the dumpster behind pizza hut. Don’t forget to accessorize, preferably with some REAL bling-gold, silver (or better yet, platinum) I dont care if its fake, put it on! And rock it momma!
- Judgemental folks think you keep popping out kids so you get more jumk food money. Dont let the judgmental folks down; bring as many kids as you can with you! If you don’t have children, borrow some. take your nieces, nephews, neighbors kids, Stop at the local park and bring those kids too. Feel free to bribe them; candy bars are EBT-approved! Also, its better if they look real dirty and cruuddy so let em play in the mud before marketing. that will get extra stares. BONUS POINTS: FOR ATTATCHING THEM TO THOSE CHILD LEASHES AND PULLIN THEM ALONG
- Ramen Noodles are cheap, so don’t even think about putting that crap in your cart! Load up on lobster, crab meat, delmonico steak, organic banannas, fresh Veggies, and fancy looking birthday cakes. Also, it’s okay to purchase large amounts of junk food; the cashiers (and the nosy customers in line behind you) want to know that their tax dollars are being well spent. Grab a few bags of chips and dip, little debbie cakes, and some of those 5 pound bags of M&M’S You have kids to bribe remember!!! Oh, dont forget the pie! Lots of pie!
- After you’ve selected everything that you want/need, Start selecting items that are not eligible to be purchased with food stamps; “hot” foods such as the roasted chicken from the deli or a cup of cappuccino (which you should be sipping on when you reach the register to pay) from the coffee bar. Make your way towards the household items, and load up Febreeze, candles, clorox wipes (for those dirty kids of yours) and lots of tampons and condoms. Oh wait, you dont use condoms, that would prevent you from getting more money! Bonus points for selecting your favorite wine and a pack of cigarettes! make em marlboro or dont get em!
- Walk slowly towards the checkout; you don’t want to overexert yourself by pushing such a heavy cart! Set a few items on the conveyor belt, and then stop to answer your cell phone (it better be a Blackberry, iPhone, or Sidekick). If its not really ringing pretend it is. Then loudly exclaim,Sure I can come to your party this weekend!No, I dont work! Sure I can get all of the shrimp and beer!” Ignore the dirty looks from the cashier and other customers. Who do they think they are, the Line Police? They can wait.
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Ask the cashier what they are doing this weekend. If they say they will be working (and 99% of the time, that’s the response you will get; cashiers are rarely lucky enough to score a Monday through Friday, 8a.m.-5p.m. schedule), act horrified. Announce that your BEST FRIEND THAT OWNS US CELUAR IS HAVING THE MOST AWESOME PARTY this weekend , and were hoping they could make it. Sigh loudly and exclaim that you are soooooo happy that you don’t have a job. woot woot! (even tho we kno you work 2 jobs just to make ends meat.that dont make the other shoppers feel good, so keep that to your poor self.
- Act completely shocked when the cashier informs you that toiletries and cigerettes are not eligible for food stamp purchases. Stomp your feet, roll your eyes, hand on the hip, throw a hissy fit, and scream that you’re sick of people disrespecting you just because you’re on EBT. UGH! UGH! UGHHH! Insist that the LAST time you went grocery shopping, your items were all approved. Demand to see a manager When the manager arrives, ignore him while you answer your phone again..
- Make sure the kids make a big mess in the cart. ebt kids are dirty, and their clothes never match. and they dont ever have their hair done. Or at least thats what the judgemental folks think. let em see it baby! lol.
Her parents must recieve foodstamp benefits right?? it cant be possible that a child would get dirty just becasue shes a child! yeah, she must get goverment assisted dinners. (uggh! lol)
- have them put their cookie crumbs that you used to bribe them with all over the place. make a trail of them I dont care. have the kids throw the empty wrappers on the ground. Familys who get foodstamps live like apes right? and, you must absolutly make sure a few of them are whining. pinch one of them if you have to. other shoppers hate loud whiny kids. ESPECIALLY LOUD WHINING KIDS WHOSE PARENTS ARE PAYING FOR THEIR GROCIERIES WITH FOODSTAMPS!
something like this would be good!^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
- When the cashier asks if you have any coupons, laugh loudly and say, “Girl, please! I’m on EBT…everything in my basket is already free!”. Make sure she notices your Coach bag.
- Encourage the cashier to hurry up and finish your transaction. Your tryin to make it to bonton for the latest fashions deals
- Demand a bagger to carry your items to your car . Explain that you’ve had a busy day of lounging by the pool Shopping for new furniture and watching Maury and your just to darn tired to carry 18 bags of goverment paid food to the car. Be sure to whine that your new 300.00 red pumps are killin your feet.
- Loudly scream to all of the children you brought that it’s time to go.! Breathe a sigh of relief when you remember that you just brought a ton of kid cuisince meals, goldfish crackers and NON ORGANIC bananas, and your going home to pop one in the oven becasue your no super mom and your way to tired to cook a big meal tonight.
- Ohhh, and if you borrowed anyone elses children now is the time to return them You dont wanna have to feed them too do you? And you dont need a kidnapping charge.
I hope people can understand that having foodstamps does not mean that you are lazy, or poor, or worthless, or no good. Some people have them becasue they are disabled. Some people have them becasue they need a liL extra help supporting their family. (YES, EVEN WITH 3 JOBS) Yes, you can get foodstamps if you have a job. I kno many families who work, and STILL have foodstamps. You might not get 1079.00 a month, but you will get what you are ELIGABLE FOR BY STATE GUIDELINES.
All you can do is go to your local social service office and apply. You may be surprised that YES, EVEN YOU are actually eligable for foodstamps! If ya never applied, you have no idea. Your probably making fun of people who are of the same social class! wow, wouldnt that be funny. bahahahaha.
Its funny, the persons(s) who judge may be eligable theirself! and geez, I wonder what they would do if they were eligable? GASP, Would they ( ANOTHER GASP) actually GO INTO SOCIAL SERVICES and ADMITT they need help!?
damn right they would. then they could see what its like being on the otherside.
gotta go, I got to find my red pumps and go buy candy bars.
TilNextTime
❤ AshNicole
