Nothing joyful about potty trained children! (at least not today)……

So,Ill get to the potty training Vs. Diapers debate in a sec….but first………………..

 

the witching hour typically involves book bags being tossed anywhere they land, kids hanging off the freezer door as if they have went 7.8 days without eating  and  whining that they dont like whats being cooked for dinner. searching frantically for a pencil sharpener because someone has homework to do and only possesses an un sharpened pencil. digging thru pajamas that should have been folded up the day before, and wondering where I put my super-mom cape.

it must have gotten mixed up with all that unfolded laundry

Dinner is on the table, thanks to daddy. we all sit down to eat and………………….

Dylan: “I do not eat burgurs”

that is what he wrote with his pencil that we sharpened after looking for a sharpener  for 20 minutes. he wrote it on his dinner napkin, and then passed it to me as if he was a 3rd grader, secretly passing a love note in class.

Lookin at him with that motherly suspicion, ( one eyebrow raised & i kno your up to something kind of look) i pick up the napkin. i discover hes referring to  the juicy cheeseburger that his father just cooked for dinner, sittin before him on his plate, next to his veggie and fries.

mom: “Yes you do. you ate one last week!”

Dylan: I wont do it”

mom:  “you’re crazy!” no wait, im crazy, im having a conversation with my 7 year old on a dinner napkin at the dinner table.

Dylan: SOME PEOPLE DO, SOME PEOPLE DONT, I DONT. SOME PEOPLE DONT LIKE THEM EITHER.

MOM: (WHAT! WHAT IN THE WORLD! since when can he write short stories about meat? well, i guess with that brilliance he don’t have to eat the burger……

but he  did compromise. He ate double cauliflower and broccoli instead. what kid eats more veggies than burgers?

obviously a veggie eating genius child, thats who! (lmao)


Something else I never thought Id say. I MISS THE DIAPER DAYS!!!

 

diapers vs potty. You be the Judge

 

Why is it that we try so hard to make our children pee on a toilet?  Come on think about it for a second..

ESPECIALLY when you are potty training twins. what we dont understand at the time is that were not potty training them! no!!! we are training them to need to go to the bathroom at the most inconvienant times! when one child says they have to pee, the other child, typically twin B, EVEN LOUDER announces, I HAVE PEE TOO!

with boys its easier. they can typically go anywhere. in the car? sure, just pull over and bam done. out fishing? why not? there is no squatting involved with boys. no wiping. no sitting or tryin to master yoga like positions just so you dont pee on your hand.

sometimes i belive the diaper days more easier. might of costed more, but definitely easier.

EXAMPLE ONE-

 your in a hurry. your running late to your childs 4 Yr  “well child check up.” you just looked for your keys for an hour, that were actually in the bottom of your purse. you frantically discover that someone wanted to play playdoh unsupervised while you took 6 minutes to get ready to go. and by ready to go I mean wiping snot off your shirt. and that snot wasnt even yours. Pulling your hair up, and throwin on flip flops, because if you put tennis shoes on that will just take to long. okay your ready to go, and you will clean the play doh mess up later.

you go for the door and say, “does anyone have to pee?”

Twin A-“no mommy”

Twin B- Nooooo momma

Child that has been potty trained for 5.5 years-“NO!!!!”

“Okay then, I dont wanna hear that you have to pee when were on the way to the dr !there will be no where to go.

ok mommy

ok mommy

ok mom

Hussle 3 kids to the van. buckle 3 kids in van. realize I forgot keys. back in house. back out of house. sit down in van, and breathe .

“mom?”

Yes?…….i say with an apprehensive tone

I have to peeeeeeee. (twin B)

sigh.

mommy? I have to pee too. (TWIN A)

Yes. I figured…..

Why cant kids pee before getting in the van? i could understand if this only happened like 4x. but no  its like every other tine we get in that thing! now if it was just noah i would say, “so? get out and pee!”

boy I hope he dont continue this until the teenage years. Once your older than 4 the law isnt so lenient on peeing in public

but, no grace is a different story. she cant just get out and pee. no. we have to get them unbuckled. lug em all back in the house. up the steps. listen to them argue over who has to go worse. wish i had two bathrooms. hands washed.  finally done, back to car. get to dr 3 minutes before they were about to make us re schedule

Example TWO-

In room 2 we  get them un dressed so the Dr. can exam them. You can guess whats next…..

As you see, if a child was in diapers, they would just go. just poop! But no, we have to train them to demand a potty ever time they feel an urge. we teach them to expect a potty dance every time they make a doo-dee. did we get excited when the doo-dee was made in the diaper? no. actually, back then  we frowned upon it. BUT, that was when we didnt know any better!

Another Example!-

waiting in line at the check out? wearing a diaper? just poo!

wearing undies? get out of line that you just waited in for 20 minutes, push child in buggy at racecar speeds to reach the bathroom in time, only to discover they only had to fart. yes ppl, this is aggravating.

Swimming in a public pool Now heres a goodie. Diapered child? throw a little swimmer on their tan tush and let it rip. no fear, your little swimmer is near. potty trained child?

After they state that they have to pee as loud as they can, so everyone can hear including the lifeguards you have to make a quick decision. do you tell him to just go? like 50% of parents? or ……. do you quickly get him and you out of the pool as if you would have done the same thing if he quietly told you he had to go?

Fishing. ( and yes this experience was from tonight. March 27th 2012)

after a little while of fishing, Noah says, “Mommy, I have to pee” I jump up fast like I just sat on a box of nails as if I was tryin to stop that sentence from reaching Graces ear drums.

To late. Sound travels to fast!

“Grace, you dont have to pee, you only have to pee because Noah has to pee”

“Yes, I doooooooo”

No, you dont, just wait a few minutes. then we will go.Wait til brother gets back.

But I have to go real bad. Not just REAL bad, but with emphasis on the real and a little whine on the bad.

I did what any tired mother who knew better would do. I handed her a snack hoping she would eat it and forget about” needing to pee” noah was done back from his little visit to the bush and grace wasnt giving up.

did she not see that her only options were bushes and one nasty (and far away) portipotty?? (sp?)  its not that it was nasty, but it was like, seriously a far hike!

I pick her up and carry her up the hill and thru the woods to the portipotty we go!!! we get there and I show her option 2. (which was the portipotty) I ask her once again, are you sure you have to pee?? Yes mommy. I dooooo.

I open the door there are cobwebs covering the seat.

enough said!!!!!!!!!! cobwebs? diapers? cobwebs? diapers?

diapered child? they would have peed, and then you could have taken them to the car, which is closer than the portipotty, changed them, and then re-joined the party.

SO FOLKS,as we thought the hardest part of potty training was the initial “training” part we were wrong! But the tough part is actually once they get the hang of it!

you never had to FIND a diaper but you aways have to find your 2 and 3 and 4-year-old child who insists they have to pee AGAIN, a bathroom and why is it that once your kid is potty trained you then realize how many women actually pee ON the seat and not in it?

yeah, there are perks of having a child being potty trained. you save money. you dont have to wipe their rear ends. it smells better. (usually) lol. You dont have to pack a diaper bag. you dont have to run to walmart at midnight  because someone forgot to pick up diapers while they were there at 4pm.

but come on! I think my twins share a bladder!

well friends, UntilNextTime, Ill be running sprints to the powder Room

LoveYou,

Ash<3

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